Jesus came to this earth to Save me.
I was born in an orthodox Hindu family, and my father was a pious and well-known person. Every day he used to get up early in the morning at 4.00 a.m. for personal devotion. As I grew up, I strictly followed the footsteps of my father.
When I turned 13, I looked up to my father as a role model. He was never negligent in performing pooja/worship to all Hindu gods every day. His day began early at 4:00 a.m. with prayer in our special prayer room and continued until 7:00 a.m. He strictly adhered to this schedule. After him, I went into the pooja room and performed pujas to all Hindu gods.
As per the custom, I went for the bhajan at the temple every day. I was strictly advised to do it diligently for the uplifting of my spiritual life. During the daytime, my father wrote 'SRI RAM NAAM, 'and he was the first one to write it more than 10 million times during those days. (1977). He dedicated it to one of the RAMA TEMPLES at Badhrachalam in Tamil Nadu.
We were four sons, and I was the youngest in our family. I was very weak in my studies and stood second last in the class. I lost my father when I was in class 10th. That was the turning point in my life. After that, I decided to concentrate on my studies. I passed my matriculation exams (10th) with second class and joined higher secondary by God's grace.
I was sincere in my school studies and stood in the top three ranks of the class. I also used to play county-level cricket matches and won many trophies. Then I joined B.Sc. (Math) and tried to complete my graduation to get a decent job. I became a sincere, serious, and religious person.
In spite of all my hard work, I managed to pass in only four papers out of eight articles in the first year. My elder brother fired me because of the poor results. I told him that I had written all my papers very well and did not know how I had failed. He sent for re-evaluation and got the same results.
My papers were sent for re-evaluation, and fortunately, I had passed in two more papers but failed in two others. Out of these two subjects, one was Algebra, wherein I had scored 02 marks out of 100 though the minimum marks per question are five marks.
After that, my lifestyle changed completely. I was frustrated as I could not secure good results. And I started to smoke and became a chain smoker. I started using drugs and drank liquor. I became a ring leader of a gang. I indulged in ragging, brawling, and eve-teasing.
Whenever there was a college strike, I stood in the front to lead it. I became a notoriously bad person. But every day, I went to the temple ceremoniously and performed the puja in my house every morning.
This subject called Algebra was after me. I could not complete my graduation within the stipulated time (three years) due to this. I rewrote the exam FIVE TIMES, and every time I scored only 02 MARKS. But the students who copied my papers got 50 marks!
I was greatly disappointed as I was disqualified from securing a decent job. My family members were very much annoyed about my failure, and I did not find anyone to comfort or guide me at that time.
I sought a job in that city (Chennai) and finally got a job as a supervisor in one of the textile export companies with a salary of Rs.250 per month for eight hours of duty. The pay was negligible, and I had a tough time with family members. So I started working with a Chartered Accountant as a part-time job from 7.30 a.m. to 8.30 a.m.
After working for more than 12 hours a day, I burned the midnight oil studying Algebra, which was a nightmare. I wrote the exam once again but in vain because I got 02 marks in that exam again.
There was NO PEACE IN MY LIFE ... NO JOY IN MY LIFE ... NO ONE TO LOVE ME ... NO ONE TO GUIDE ME ... NO ONE TO TAKE CARE OF ME -- although my people were around me. My health worsened, and I vomited blood due to excessive consumption of drugs/alcohol,/smoking.
I reached the brink of desperation, and so I decided to commit suicide. I felt that I was worthless to my family and society.
One afternoon I went to a well to commit suicide, but I heard a voice saying this continually, 'SUICIDE IS NOT THE CONCLUSION OF LIFE, AND YOU NEED TO FACE THE FACT.'
Finally, I had to postpone my suicide attempt. Again, one afternoon I was so depressed that I ran to the temple barefooted, literally crying all the way. I asked God, "Why has this happened to me? Despite my hard work, why can't I obtain my degree? And why can't I find real love or comfort from my family members?'
So, I decided to go to my eldest brother's house (who was the first Christian convert in our family) and stayed with him for some time. There I got the zeal to know about the Bible, but not to become a Christian. My brother was shocked and asked me to pack up and go back home.
After much persuasion, my elder brother agreed to send me to the Bible college on one condition: I should not disclose this to any of our family members or friends. Otherwise, they may cause trouble for him.
I agreed to that - as I did not want to become a Christian but only to know about the Bible. I joined a Bible College in Rajahmundry (Andhra Pradesh State).
On the very first day, God started working in my life through miracles. Here is the first miracle that I experienced in my life.
In the first week of my Bible college study, I fell sick, and I never knew how to pray to God. It was night, and no one took care of me since all were new, and I did not know what to do. But that night, around 11 p.m., I just knelt and started crying without uttering any word. Praise God, who saw my tears and healed me that very moment.
Even after this miracle, I did not accept Jesus as my Savior. Still, while reading the Bible, God opened my spiritual eyes and convicted me to understand that I am a "SINNER." I confessed my sins and repented.
During the days of my Bible College, I appeared for Algebra exams in Chennai. A couple of months later, I asked God to give me the Algebra exam result within 24 hours. I kept this as a test to find whether this God is a true God or not. (I did not know whether the results were published or not at that time) But I prayed earnestly, "GOD, IF YOU ARE A REAL GOD, PLEASE ANSWER MY PRAYER."
"GOD, I WILL GIVE 24 HRS TIME FROM NOW ONWARDS (IT WAS IN THE AFTERNOON). I SHOULD GET MY RESULTS BY TOMORROW 0200 P.M."
That night I fasted and prayed to God continuously. The next morning I attended the Bible classes. That afternoon all the students had gone for lunch, and I was alone in the classroom with great stress. I was praying to God.
After lunch, the students returned to the classroom, and the second half of the session was about to begin. The set time was nearing, and I was really tense, and I thought: Did this God also forsake me? If it is so, then there is no God at all.
The class was about to start, and the professor had entered the classroom. I was on the last bench of the classroom with a downcast heart and soul. But at exactly 2:00 p.m. I saw a postman standing at the door -- calling my name.
Immediately I stood up and approached him to get my parcel (that was a registered AD). I got the sealed cover and opened it in front of all the students and teachers; I was very anxious to know what was inside, Believe me ...
THE STIPULATED TIME WAS WITHIN 24 HRS. I ALSO ASKED (told) GOD THAT IT SHOULD HAPPEN BEFORE 2:00 p.m. TODAY. OTHERWISE, THERE WILL BE NO EXISTENCE OF GOD FOR ME".
[And with a loud voice with tears streaming down my face] "BUT TODAY THE LIVING AND THE PRAYER- ANSWERING GOD HAS PROVEN THAT HE IS THE MIGHTY GOD AND CAN MAKE IMPOSSIBLE THINGS POSSIBLE!
"TODAY, I ACKNOWLEDGE THAT THERE IS NO GOD BESIDES THIS GOD - LORD JESUS - WHO IS THE TRUE GOD AND WORTHY OF ALL GLORY!"
That day, my faith increased, and I decided to get baptized and lead a life pleasing to Jesus Christ.
Now the journey is ongoing, and still, my God is answering prayers of mine, and I sincerely thank this God for showing great love and compassion though I am unworthy.
Why is it so difficult for our educators and society, in general, to understand that love and respect for one another taught from a young age can solve much of the world's hostility and social problems!
"Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it" (Prov 22:6).
Love is the answer!
True loyalty springs from the heart and is wrapped in love. It is often in our most private moments that true loyalty, or the lack of it, is made known.
Reaching the world with the message of Jesus
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Samuel L Mills
PO Box 4456
Maryville, TN 37802