I was in prison for a crime I committed while blacked out on alcohol and drugs. While I was waiting for sentencing, I began to pray and seek God, although I knew very little about Him. I had a dream.
Jesus and I were standing on clouds as if we were in space, looking down at the world. There was no darkness anywhere, even though we were in
He stood next to me with His left arm around my shoulders, He reached out His right hand, motioning to the earth, and I felt like He was saying that my family would be ok, I think. Either way, I believe it was an invitation to trust Him.
I've struggled so very much with my faith and addictions. I haven't had many Christian or Jesus-believing contacts to help me understand this dream or faith.
I went back to my addictions, lost a lot, and tried again to follow through in my faith and seek God. I failed after two years of sobriety when I lost my children to the state, got sober, and got them back.
My husband continued to struggle with his addictions. I went back to my addictions with him for two months. I felt so horrible because I knew I was wrong, I was guilty, and the shame was killing me. I prayed to Him to please don't let me go.
At the end of the two months, He came to me in a dream again. He came out of the clouds and stood in front of me; I dropped to my knees at His feet and wept.
After sobering up, I went to a church with my children. I think I messed up because I didn't know anything about the church stuff, at least not what my part was to be in it.
Many things were happening, including people acting weird when I started reaching out. Im not sure what to do, and I feel so far from Him, but that's what I have right now. I wish it were more hopeful.
I've been sober from alcohol and drugs for over five years now because I just can't go back to that anymore. Just not sure where to go from here.
Ashley: United States
Thank you for sharing your amazing story.
I believe that Jesus, in your dream, was telling you that He is reaching out to you, and that is wonderful!
Often well-meaning Christians need help understanding and meeting the needs of those who have had experiences like yours and do not know how to help. But you can ask them to pray for you, and of course, you can pray, and prayer is powerful!
It's essential to have good Christian friends to pray and worship with and offer Spiritual guidance, but the real help in your life will come from your direct relationship with God, specifically, God the Holy Spirit.
It's not the well-meaning Christians who can supply all of your needs; it's God, and that comes from a personal relationship with Him that continues to grow. As time passes, you will get to know Him better and better.
There are many articles on this website that help in living the Christian life. Below are some that I think can help (I often reread them myself):
The first article is about hope. We all need a way and a reason to find hope (real hope)! Real faith and hope in God will see you through any situation.
The title is: "Finding Hope in Difficult Times"
The next article is about realizing and grasping the presence of the Holy Spirit and knowing that He is your constant companion.
We have many beautiful, wonderful Churches that lead the lost to Christ, teach the Bible, and offer guidance on how to live the Christian life. But your daily life in the trenches will be with God the Father, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit.
The Holy Spirit is constantly in and with you to comfort, guide, and direct you. There is a little book titled "Practicing the Presence of God," I love that phrase, and it is something every Christian should practice.
The best Christian life will come from getting to know the Holy Spirit, learning to recognize His voice, and following His instructions.
There are many helpful articles on this website, and I will be happy to answer any questions.
Jesus loves you, and I pray He will bless every area of your life,