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I was Born in 1987, and ever since, it was a battle for my life. Have you ever heard the saying All of my life I had to fight? Well, that is the way it was for me.
I was struggling to be born; my mother was in an abusive relationship with a man that was secretly beating her behind closed doors and nearly died when she was seven months pregnant with a Brain Aneurysm. The devil tried to take ME out, but the lord would not let me die.
They were able to save me after I lost 2 minutes of oxygen.
They THOUGHT I was dead, but although I SURVIVED, my mother only survived four
days after that. She NEVER saw me because she never woke up.
Her great-aunt was so moved by the lost that, after court cases and family strife, she took me away from all that and raised me as her own, but the devil kept coming after me. I was bullied all through school pushed, accused, abused, and knocked down, but I got back UP, and I kept getting back up.
The devil tried to get me to commit suicide seven times; with pills, fire, and mental depression. The devil wanted me never to see the promise in my life. I could not claim the name that I had lived my entire life because none of my documents were in order, and there was another name on my birth certificate. I felt insecure about my Identify because I did not have a secure understanding of who I was.
I ended up in the wrong relationship with a man that was not even sure whether he wanted to be with a man or me, so my security in being a woman was challenged. I was going to clubs with him and Drinking, and in a spiral that I did not understand.
I was a chameleon and adjusted to whatever anyone else wanted out of me. I had no clue who I was. I was LOST so badly that when anyone asked me what I thought or what my opinion was, I did not have one. I lost ME.
My security was in things and other people because I did not trust myself. I quickly learned these people I surrounded myself with only wanted what they could get from me or get me to do. I didn’t recognize it. I was Blind until… I met Him
He had been in pursuit of me my entire life. My aunt used to pray with me and when I was a child had taught me the LORDS prayer. When I was five or six, she would sometimes pray, but I rarely saw it. I can only remember going to church a few times when I was a kid.
God was calling me, but I wasn’t ready to obey, I would pick up my bible here and there and try to read it, but I couldn’t get into. However, but each time I would read a little more. I remember my parents were divided among Christianity, their beliefs, and their churches. My mom wouldn’t go to church with dad, so I was a momma's girl, so, guess what… I didn’t go to church.
But what brought me to Christ is when God stripped me of everything, no job no money no friends and e nothing to do every day but sleep and mess around with social media. I reach a point where I was having visions and dreams of burning the house down. I wanted to set it on fire and walk away and never return. I wanted to take a bunch of pills and end my LIFE. And I called out to god and PRAYED for help.
I felt the weight come off me, and one day I got up and said, “I’m done”. I knew to stop looking, stop chasing after what everyone else wanted; stop… and figure out who I was, and I could only do that with him.
So, I was done doing it my way, it was time to do it His way…. I gave it all to him, and that is when he started to do it for me.
When I gave my life to God, my life changed.
I began to read the word, and though I didn’t know what I was doing, I just did it. I started following people online about a business, and meditating and praying:
I wrote a card, [this is important], I wrote on that card that I wanted “to be HAPPY”; something simple and what I thought would be happiness defined by me. I wrote that list of how I felt my life was supposed to be.
Then he started to work in me. He started leading me to people that had me do activities that would cause me to write and release ALL the pain all the suffering all the things I had been carrying for years.
At the time I was seeing a therapist, and every time I would write a bunch of things out and take them back to her, and she would work them out and walk them out with me. When her job was done she was gone.
I started going to church and separating myself from people and spending time with GOD and letting him talk to me. I learned how to hear God, and to understand what my inner voice sounded like as the Holy Spirit started to work on me. Then I did my first 40 days fast.
When I came out of that experience, I gave every thought Idea, and perspective of my life to God, and I grew. I gave my career dreams to Him, and not long after that, I began to write, and that's when I figured out my ministry and what God wanted out of me.
He took the list of things I wrote about and had me to start building on that. He had a prophecy of the things I was called to do, and I RAN for that, and EVERYTHING came into order.
Every gift, every talent every desire. God gave me a plan for streams of living water he gave me a business; He gave me a career and EVERYTHING I asked.
Then Jesus gave me something unexpected, He gave me knowledge of His purpose for me in the coming years, and I KNOW this is ALL because I gave my LIFE to Him instead of ending my life.
Even though my life has not become PERFECT, God is still working, and I can see him in myself and the people he has put around me including the thoughts the Idea’s and the joy, even the sorrows, he was in it all
In the END? There is No end and I am only starting.
I have created a business around HOW I came out and use every talent, skill, and everything I went through to lead people out of that Place where they want to die, and into finding their purpose and how to FLY. So, come to Jesus and see how he will truly CHANGE your life.