This was in 2020. My brother Jon had committed suicide exactly one year before, and I had mourned him so greatly.
On the first anniversary of his death, I lit a candle, sat down, and wrote one of the most beautiful poems I had ever written to honor his memory. I was so very proud of the poem I wrote that day.
I stood up and turned all the lights out. I have really long hair, so I sat on the edge of the couch to hold all my hair back as I blew out the candle before bed. As soon as I sat on that couch, an electric charge went through my body.
Although the room was dark from the nighttime, a beautiful rainbow full of these prism-like lights filled the entire room with light. It was the most vivid, beautiful colors I had ever laid my eyes upon.
The light came from outside my house through one window and looked much like a rainbow. And a peace came over me like I had never known before or since. I truly felt the deep love of God.
There is a song I remember singing in Sunday school as a child..."I got the joy joy joy joy down in my heart...where?..." We all remember that Sunday school song.
Anyway, there is a verse to that song that most accurately reflects how I felt at that time. And that is the verse that talks about having the peace that passes understanding down in my heart. Yes! That's what I felt exactly at that moment.
And then, I became overwhelmed with sadness, shame, and fear. I've heard people describe incidents, perhaps near-death experiences, if you will, about their whole lives flashing before their eyes in the blink of an eye.
But it wasn't my whole life I saw, but all of the sins of my lifetime. I could see them all at once, and I felt so ashamed. It felt like I did not deserve all of that love I felt so deeply at that time.
I could hear the Holy Spirit. Not audibly, but in my heart and mind, and I felt the presence of my dead brother and grandmother in the room with me. I had been wearing one of my brother's old sweatshirts that day because I had been missing him so much.
And the sleeves of that sweatshirt lifted up around me and gave me a tight hug. And I could hear my brother's voice...only I heard his voice out loud as if he were in the room with me, and he said, "A mighty, mighty scene!"
I could not see God, but I knew that I was in His presence, and He spoke to me, but again, it wasn't audible. It was as if we were communicating with one another telepathically. And He told me to write.
He said that I was to write something that would bring people together, for we were all one through Him, and that there was more that united us than separated us. And that I was to write something that helped people realize this.
He told me I was not allowed to become rich from my writings but that I was allowed to take care of my family and give the rest away. It was profound. It shook me up for a few weeks afterward...I would just get so emotional thinking about it.
But I haven't started writing again, until now. I have had a great deal of suffering and grief in my life since then that has been distracting me. And I have known since I was a small child that I would go to heaven one day.
But it wasn't until I suffered greatly that I truly decided to turn my life over to Him. And that's when I began to write again. God bless!
Tiffany: United States