God knew me and loved me even before I could know Him and love Him.
My life was empty being an orphan, coming from an abusive childhood and never good enough to be accepted and favored.
I never believed anyone could take me out from this misery or could change anything in any way. So I submitted to the patterns of this world, embraced hate and violence as a defense mechanism against rejection to shield myself.
Little did I know that God’s eyes were fixed on me, never giving up to the trust that one day I would change. I rejected Him every time He tried to approach or send me messages through my Christian friends.
I was close to my dad. When I lost him, everything in me broke into pieces. I hated my birth and hated the very reason for being alive. My first suicidal attempt was when I was 19. When it failed, I kept cutting myself and often bleeding to suppress the inner pain. Simultaneously, I was successful in my university and career. But I was lonely.
When I was 24, a business meeting led me to enter through a wrong entrance of a ballroom where a church was worshiping God Lord Jesus Christ. The pastor was talking about God as our Father. That drew my attention because as I said I was close to my father and that was the first time I heard someone say that God is our Father.
I listened, and when I went home, I raised my eyes above to the ceiling of my room, and I said “God if You are really up there, and You can be my father that I lost, show yourself, prove that you love me and turn my life around. Fill the empty space in my heart…. otherwise, I am just wasting 10 seconds of my time right now in praying to you.” I think God was waiting for the moment I would surrender, and he showed up.
Next week I went hesitatingly to church and then again… and again, and eventually became a religious practice. I came to know well who God is through the Bible and hearing his saints preach. When I trained my heart to believe in Lord Jesus Christ and His death for me, I confessed. When I confessed, I repented. When I repented, God’s grace and mercy saved me.
I gave my soul to Lord Jesus Christ and accepted God as my Abba Father. He filled the emptiness I had carried for 24 years. I never wanted to die or bleed again. He poured His peace, love, and joy into my heart and soul.
I gave my life to Lord Jesus Christ and went under the waters of Baptism committing my life for Him until death. As Romans14:8 quotes, I can today say – If I live, I live for the Lord. If I die, I die for the Lord. If I live or die, I BELONG to my Lord.
I found a new life and a new beginning through Father God, Lord Jesus Christ, and His Holy Spirit.
Marriage: The year 2004: When I was 24 and met the Lord, I started praying for a husband. When the Lord asked me my preferences, I took a while to answer. I am not fascinated by fame, money or good looks because we had once had all this in our family which the devil destroyed. There was no Lord Jesus Christ in our home.
So this time I wanted it to be different. I asked the Lord for a four deal package:
1. A man like Enoch who walked with God
2. A man like Abraham who had undoubted faith
3. A man like Samuel who was faithful until death
4. A man like David who was a man after God’s own heart
“Now unto him that can do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us, 21Unto him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end. Amen.”
In 2006 month of Nov, God gave me a man, perfect as the package and much more. 2007 Jun we got married. Striving in prayer, self-control and keeping your body holy not submitting to lusts were few challenges I faced during the two years I was waiting on the Lord. I couldn’t have overcome them without the Lord’s help.
I am happily married to the best man ever. May God bless him to his heart’s desire abundantly and more!!
Children: Soon after the "happily ever after wedding" came years of unexpected trials and learning. Doctors warnings and reports on my medical condition restricting us not to have a baby. The after effects of childhood abuse that injured my discs and spine.
We wrestled with God every day, as Jacob did. Holding Him tight and not letting Him go unless He fixed and blessed this problem. God delayed answers to our prayers to mature and shape us, as we depended entirely on Him.
It was not easy. It was the hardest four and a half years! Rom 5:3 was at work – “Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.”
He motivated our perseverance by sending His promises through His Word and prophets, and this was a huge relief knowing that God is going to do something big. What the doctors said was impossible God sent Word He could make possible. He did this to show Who He is. He is God, our Father. He said:
Isaiah 41:10 Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you,I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’
Then in 2009, He sent His promises:
Psalms 113:9: He makes the barren woman abide in the house As a joyful mother of children. Praise the LORD!
Isaiah 44: 3 For I will pour water upon him that is thirsty, and floods upon the dry ground: I will pour my spirit upon thy seed, and my blessing upon thine offspring:
Psalms 127:3: Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.
Until 2011, nothing happened. It was hard to move on. All my strength was weakening. There were no more tears to shed. No more prayers that weren’t said. When I was almost giving up, God showed up again and said He would like me to do four things.
I was tired, waiting, and wailing. But I gathered the last bit of strength and asked the Lord what it was He wanted me to do?
a. Ask Lord Jesus to shut the doors of every evil that has a reason to come into your life.
When I prayed God showed me a vision where there four doors and one by one are getting shut leading to a promise saying “The door that God shuts no one can open, no powers ever.”
b. Ask Lord Jesus to break every hierarchical bondage and curse that ever existed and ever spoken over. When I did, He showed me big scissors cutting a think wire and a huge axe cutting a thick rope.
c. He told me to put a seed of faith in the form of an offering. He led me to Malachi 3:10. When I believed and did He showed me a parched desert broken ground, a seed sprouted and a small green plant emerged out of that dry ground. He reminded me of His promise He gave me in 2009 – Isaiah 44.
d. He told me to have faith not to doubt and wait like Abraham.
During the Year 2012: I eagerly waited for the results of all that I obeyed Father God Lord Jesus Christ and Holy Spirit of God. Before the year was ending in November, my pregnancy result turned positive!! I was conceived!!!
2012 Father God Lord Jesus gave us a beautiful baby girl Victoria. 6 months later I conceived again, and He gave us a son as a result of my husband’s faith and prayer.
My husband had named his son Jonathan before he was conceived. Our God faithfully, mercifully and in His loving kindness gave us Jonathan in October 2013. Praise, Glory, and honor be to our God alone forever and forever. Amen!
5. All four of us died, and Father God Lord Jesus resurrected us:
John 10:10: “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.”
Psalms 34:18: The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
2012 July 22nd - 1st death:
Birth of Victoria, our daughter – 40th week, 21st July 2012
At 8 pm I was admitted to the hospital. They induced pain as there was no dilation and water break - anticipating delivery the next morning. But after 2 hours of induction, I was in severe pain without dilating.
The baby had unlocked from position and started distressing. A couple of minutes later its heartbeat dropped to zero and then mine too. Both were lifeless. When the doctors panicked and thought it was over my husband cried to the Lord with Psalms 91.
This was the Lord's battle now, not our battle now, not ours. There was spiritual warfare. Lord Jesus with His army showed up against the spirit of darkness. Baby’s heartbeat picked up! It was a miracle! When this happened, my heartbeat picked up. Father God Lord Jesus gave us back our lives leaving the doctors wondering what had just happened.
1 Corinthians 15:57 ESV … thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.
The Lord Jesus and His Army Show Up: 2nd death
Birth of Jonathan, our son – 17th October 2013 early dawn, I was admitted to the hospital for delivery. When Jonathan was born, oxygen was not reaching his tissues uniformly. They called it hypoxia.
Hypoxia is a condition where not enough oxygen makes it to the cells and tissues that make up your body; this can happen even though your blood flow is normal. It can lead to many serious, sometimes life-threatening complications.
And if oxygen deprivation continues, death or permanent brain damage takes just a few minutes. Hypoxia is the deprivation of oxygen to the brain and is one of the deadliest injuries. Doctors refused to give my baby to me after birth. He said the baby might take eight months to recover!
Again, I wailed and cried to my Father God Lord Jesus on that hospital bed. I said Lord come now and rescue Jonathan. He is your son; this is your battle against the spirit of darkness. Not ours! There was spiritual warfare again!!
Lord Jesus and His army showed up! Lord Jesus breathed into Jonathan, and I saw it!
The doctors came running to say that it was a miracle!! Jonathan has turned normal. They took off the oxygen cylinder, and he breathed normally. He showed no signs of hypoxia. My baby came to my arms, and I kissed him non-stop crying giving thanks to Lord Jesus!! He is our faithful Father and God.
As it was with Prophet Ezekiel, so it was that happened to Jonathan by Father God Lord Jesus
"Thus says the Lord GOD to these bones, 'Behold, I will cause breath to enter you that you may come to life. 'I will put sinews on you, make flesh grow back on you, cover you with skin and put breath in you that you may come alive; and you will know that I am the LORD.'"
Isaiah 54:17 ESV “No weapon that is fashioned against you shall succeed, and you shall confute every tongue that rises against you in judgment. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord and their vindication from me, declares the Lord.”
Jan 2014 we took a holiday trip to India, the day we landed my husband started breathing heavily. He had a mild cold earlier that day but nothing serious. The night was hard, and the next day, the duty doctor from the hotel came to see him.
As soon as he saw him, he started writing a letter to the biggest hospitals in Chennai, the Apollo Hospital and the next moment he was at the emergency unit.
Victoria our daughter was 1 and half years old and our son Jonathan was two months! My husband’s breathing started falling, and in front of my eyes, he collapsed lifelessly!! I cried and wailed to Father God Lord Jesus.
Once again quoting Psalms 91, I said "Lord, I am not growing old without my husband, and these children are not growing without their father!! Lord come down with Your army. Fight against this spirit of darkness.
Lord Jesus showed up! He said His purposes and plan for my husband are not fulfilled, so he must live! Psalms 91 became our family psalm.
Lord Jesus breathed into my husband, and his breath came back. The next day he was discharged from the MDCC unit, and we flew back to Dubai. Doctors couldn’t find any trace of what happened to him.
Romans 14:8: If we live, we live for the Lord; and if we die, we die for the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord.
To Him alone be the glory and all our praise, now and forevermore!! Today and forever we four are sold out for the Lord Jesus Christ! How can I ever repay Him?
Jency: United Arab Emirates