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I believe in miracles because of the things that have happened to me. I have always known that God and His angels were with me. Even at a very young age, I was able to understand what was going on in my life. I came from a super dysfunctional background and knew that it was the Lord above who had kept me.
Back in the 50s, when I was born, my mother was a heroin addict, and I had a higher chance of having an addictive personality because of how babies had to withdraw in those days. I started drinking at a very early age then moved on to every kind of drug that was available.
My testimony is that even though I decided, or shall I say, chose to be part of the world; my spirit begged to differ. There were many times I could have died from drugs and alcohol, from the dangers involved in getting my drugs, consequences of my actions, and in trying to take my own life, many times.
I started with suicidal attempts from the age of eight or nine and continued until my mid-fifties. Once or twice every year I would end up in a mental institution for this behavior. There were times when I would wake up and be so upset that I was still alive that I would be angry with God.
I wondered why He kept me here on Earth; because I knew I was a no-good wretch that did not deserve to be here, and that God had kept me for a reason that I hadn't allowed Him to reveal. As a child, I cried many times due to all kinds of abuse and violence, and I remember when I would kneel by my bedside and ask God to please let me be happy for just 5 minutes.
I experienced things a child should not have experienced or seen, but the Lord above kept me because He had a plan for me from the beginning, and now I am finally a total believer and have given myself completely to Him.
While I did drugs and alcohol, and everything else the world offered, I also talked about the things God had done for one of them and me was sending angels to me throughout my life. Even so, He allowed me to continue on the wrong path I had chosen because He knew I would eventually come back to Him.
I was an angry child, and as a young adult, and all the way to Womanhood.
Throughout the years with all those evil circumstances and hatred in my heart, I continued to call out to God for help. I went to a Catholic school and was taught about God and how Christ died for our sins so that we can live in the Kingdom, but I was not ready. I lived the only way I knew, and that was by what I witnessed every single day, and this was a very unhealthy lifestyle for a child.
I used to have vivid dreams of fighting the Darkness, but I was always with the people in the Light, and we always won the battle. I would have dreams of flying, and when there was trouble all around me, I would pick up and fly away. I had many vivid dreams growing up, and I remember them because they stood for something spiritual, and I finally figured it out.
I feel that was my spirit telling me that I would overcome all the obstacles in my life if I would just give myself completely to God. Yes, I called out for help, but He could not help me until I completely gave myself to Him, and now I understand that.
I know now that God has loved me very much, brought me very far, and pulled me out the pits of hell, and that I can now serve Him, and He can use me for His good. I have finally found what I've been looking for all of my life, and that is to understand the Bible, and I love reading it. He has also blessed me with a church that teaches the Bible and sent people into my life to help and guide me in the direction God wants me to go.
I am a much more joyful, peaceful, and happy person now that God Almighty is the head of my life, and I realize, that without him I am nothing. Yes, I still have shortcomings and ask God every day to help me, but I have seen a tremendous change in my life. Each day, all through the day, I still have to repent, and I ask Him every day to use me and help me to make someone else happy even if it's just with a smile.
I'm not concerned anymore about what God can give me, it's what I can give Him, and I'm so happy now that I am giving my tithing which I was reluctant to do before. Living on a fixed income does not matter; when it's time to give I'm so happy and is the way I've always dreamed of doing.
What I want to say is, God is awesome and has been throughout my life. God is all, and I love Him so much through Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior, and I can't see my life without Him.
Thank you, Lord, for all you have done for me. You have opened my spiritual eyes and ears so that I can see and hear spiritually, and I give you all the Glory. I thank you, I praise you, and I glorify your name in Jesus Christ Our Lord, Amen.
There is a story in the Bible that has the shortest prayer in the Bible. It is about a woman whose pregnancy was more painful and excruciating than she could have imagined. When the child was born, she named him Jabez, meaning, "He makes sorrowful." As this little boy was growing into manhood, he thought about how much pain he had caused his mother during birth, and he did not want to hurt anyone else. The name itself could have planted evil thoughts to harm other people. Instead, his belief in God kept him and steadfast, and he would say this short prayer,
"Oh, that you would bless me indeed and enlarge my territory, that your hand would be with me, and that I may not cause pain." And God granted his request.
This is also my daily prayer, and I thank God every day for His Mercy and Grace that I don't deserve, and I'm so glad He loves me enough to forgive me of my sins. I left Him at one point in my life, but He never left me. He has always been with me, and I am still here and able to speak to others about the Miracles in my life, and those I have seen in the lives of others. This is why I want to express it in this writing, and yes, I believe in Miracles because I am one.
Fenicia, United States