So this was not a dream, and I do not condone drug use or substance abuse of any kind from both experience and observation.
Throughout college, I experimented with psychedelics (for about five years). I never experienced anything life-threatening or scary visions; there weren't any evil demons or any evil thoughts/actions while experimenting throughout college.
I'm 23 years old, and I've made many mistakes and hurt a lot of people that were beyond important to me. Mistakes I will never be able to take back.
When I took the time to reflect and truly sat with all my wrongdoings, I saw no hope or way to fix or change what I didn't understand, and I started losing people, friends, and family.
Each of the sufferings was from my lack of understanding about how to live, what life was, and what truth actually meant. Left and right, I began to see more and more of my flaws.
Like many others, I struggled while becoming a man. From 7 or 8 to my present-day age of 23
I had no clue about the severity of consequence, how fragile our hearts, or how important other people's hearts are, nor how vital our parents, family, friends, and partners are.
I was coming to understand there is no way to fix my mind and heart and believed I would be stuck in certain ways forever. The scariest part is that I enjoyed and indulged in sin and more sin for about 11 years, even while young, but was unaware of what I was doing.
Even while aware of my doings, nothing prepared me for shame, guilt, pain, and the severity of consequences. I was pretty much ready to give up; I could not see the light at the end of the tunnel, and there was no yellow brick road to follow.
All I kept seeing was a broken boy unfit for this world. I believed there was no cure for the unseen battles that manipulate each and every one of us.
How can we fight these false ideals and personas made by society and those who point at others instead of their own wrongdoings? There are endless ways to give someone a reason to justify blaming and shaming. But there is only one way for truth, and I tell you, I had zero, zip, nada.
I literally had no hope; I was Ready to conclude there will never be something or someone that can set me free from the enslavement of my wrongdoings; boy, was I wrong. All of that changed within a blink of an eye and the world felt frozen in time.
While attending college, I experimented with LSD and magic mushrooms for almost five years; yes, a long time indeed, and no, I don't know how I can still function. And like I said, "I do not condone the usage of drugs."
About two years ago, I was saved by the Lord. I was under the influence of LSD, and I went through my first heavy mental breakdown.
I found myself hiking up a hill where I met a man named Gary. No one else was around, and no cars. Gary was smoking a cigarette while sitting in the driver's seat; I was next to the driver's door. (some context for the imagination, bear with me).
I had attended that school for five years, and not even once had I met this man, Gary. As soon as we made eye contact, I immediately began pouring my heart out.
I was venting and ranting about how no one knows what's going on, and we have no idea what we are even doing here. What is a son, what's a father, mother, what is a human, who am I, why am I alive, do I have a purpose, how am I even real, and expressing how my Dad went through open-heart surgery, then having to undergo chemo twice?
As I unraveled bottled-up emotions to a complete stranger, including childhood trauma that I had subconsciously pushed down for almost ten years, I was on the verge of breaking completely.
I looked at Gary and became an absolute mess, bawling my eyes out and telling him my whole life story. As I was about to break completely, I either yelled or sternly stated, "I don't know what to do!" Then BOOM, all of a sudden, I could see right through Gary, and it was nothing I had ever seen nor experienced before.
His heart began to shine extremely bright as it turned to gold; through him, I saw beings of either light or something along those lines, standing ready to receive me.
While that was happening, I was freaking out, then, out of nowhere, the mental breakdown stops, the sadness went away, and there was no more pain in my heart.
Then I feel a soft hand resting on my shoulder. Gary was still in the driver's seat, so I became very concerned when this gentle hand came out of nowhere. I want to repeat this because this is nearly impossible to grasp; we were the only two people in that area.
Then all of a sudden, this incredible presence becomes a reality. Now I feel the five fingers placed on my shoulder as a father would do if he were to stand behind his son. I look down to my left and see an endless row of sandals; then I looked over my shoulder to see a towering figure whose face was almost as bright as the sun, and I couldn't even look at it.
Then like a gust of wind, I was taken up either by my hair or my soul. I have no idea how it happened, but I was definitely not in front of Gary's maintenance truck; one second, Gary is in front of me, next I'm looking at the Golden Gates as Gary came back into view. I told him I was under the influence of LSD and everything that I had seen.
Another moment when I was left speechless we had never once spoken about God or Jesus or anything of that nature until I felt his presence.
Actually, and this is the absurd part; he was smirking the whole time, but I was as distraught as a man could get. I didn't even have to say anything; He told me the Lords got you, the Spirit's gotta hold of you, and you're going to be just fine.
He grew up around churches, and while he was explaining all of this to me, he decided to get out of the car, again it is just the two of us and says, let me give you a hug.
Now more context, I was adopted at 48 hours old, no matter blood kin or not, I will always love my family, my mother, and my father, and the life I have been blessed to live, but when Gary hugged me, I felt like me Dad was hugging me.
I have gotten hugs from my Dad and many others that are close to me. Truly I tell you, I had never had a feeling that was as if I had met my Dad, my actual Dad, for the first time, while feeling as if I was already with him way before I was even born into this world.
I wanted to share my story with you all. God is beyond Great; Jesus is by far infinity and beyond a King and a Lord. He is and forever will be the only way. God bless you and all of your family.
I pray for anyone who has yet to accept Jesus as Lord to do so immediately, it is crucial to get to know him now, since stop, drop, and roll doesn't work in hell.
May the Lord be with you, your loved ones, and all who need God's saving Grace.
Ryan V: United States