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When I was three, my dad was killed, my mam started drinking alcohol had lots of men in her life, and we moved about a lot.
At five, I was put into council children's home, which I hated, by eight I was running away and living on the streets. By ten, I was sniffing glue and taking opioids steeling to survive clothes, food, etc. By 12-13, I had an opium addiction also smoking cannabis and taking any drug I could get my hands on.
I hated authority, and I was very aggressive towards all authority, by 13 I was selling drugs tablets cannabis ect by 14 id been sent to detention center then youth custody. Over the next 5-6 years, I spent most of it in and out of prison, .i was convicted of attacking several prison officers and a child abuser while in prison.
I got released from my last sentence when I was 22 then sold drugs on the estate I lived for the next 25 years; I had everything lovely family nice house clothes gold watches money holidays all over the world my life was good.
On the estate, I come from ln nine months four young men all killed themselves; these men were buying drugs from me. I got a conscience something id never had when it came to making money. I started to get depressed not wanting to get up in the mornings Not wanting to see anyone pushing away those close to me.
Over the next 4 months 2 more suicides and to drug overdose deaths happened on my estate the guilt just ate me up and I didn't know how to handle it didn't know who to talk to or how to talk about it one night I went home and locked my door and took a months worth of pregabalin which medically should have definitely killed me I fell asleep for hours then woke up .
When I woke up I was devastated that id woke up I didn't think of my kids, grandson, no one, I just didn't want to be here. I got on my knees and prayed to Jesus he would just let me go and be with my dad. I begged him to come and take me I screamed n shouted n cried.
I cried all the tears id never cried since I was 5 years old then right in front of me I saw Jesus standing there in a bright light, and I heard his voice, "go now, and you'll be on your own, come with me, and you'll never be alone again," and I said just take me, please make me .
A few minutes later someone who never came to my house especially said they had a horrible feeling about me and couldn't sleep so happened to check me And they saved me. The next morning my kids came to see me it broke my heart them knowing what I had done.
Lying on the sette, I heard a voice saying, pack a bag, you're going. I just thought it was all the tablets id taken the night before then half an hour later my daughter returned with some house keys so I could leave the trap house id lived in and sold drugs from for so long.
So I went I spent the next few weeks beliving I had gone mad, broken down or something, but I kept praying kept talking to Jesus a friend had tried to get me to go to church with him, but id refused.
On a Saturday night, I went to bed and had a vivid dream that Jesus told me to go to church I got up on Sunday found a local church Hillsong through a friend and went.
When I got there, a gentleman came up to me and said I asked Jesus this morning to bring you. I was thinking wow he's as mad as me he gave me a cuddle, and I just cried I cried all the way through the service until the pastor said put your hand up if you want to find Jesus today.
I stood up with my arm in the air like id been hit by lightning, trying to put my arm down but couldn't. I felt something in my body warm- electric kind of feeling when I left Hillsong I knew I wasn't mad, I knew Jesus was real; I went to a spirit-filled church called junction 42.
On Tuesday night, the pastor came up to me and asked to pray for me was apprehensive but said yes. While standing being prayed for all of a sudden, it was like a breath just blew on me, and the next thing I knew, I was lying on the floor.
John helped me up as I stood up I felt all my depression worry addictions anxiety just leave me I was smiling a big happy smile. I felt brand new the holy spirit had come upon me. I felt terrific like I hadn't for a long, long time.
Since then, I have been baptized in water; seen miracles from healing and prayer, and have been given a gift from God of prophecy. I give people messages, perfect strangers, and their audacity.
I go on the streets and pray for people bringing people to Jesus; I've been to different parts of the country helping people.
Jesus saved me in more ways than one. My kids have seen a difference in me, and yes I have gone from loads of money to not very much, loads of possessions to not very many, but I have something more valuable than all that, and that's the love of God and the ability to love others.
Since finding God, he's allowed me to start my own business to work for myself and to help others who are lost and broken.
Finding God has changed my life so much, from selling death, to giving people Jesus, from hating to loving, from depression to prophesy. WOW, God is amazing; all we have to do is let him in, call on him, and he will come.
Kirk: United Kingdom