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My life has never been easy. I loved Jesus. I was raised in the church. My grandmother was a big influence in my life. She was a God-fearing woman who was always sowing into me. The devil sought to destroy me at a very young age.
I was seven, and my world had been torn upside down by my parent's divorce. I started being sexually molested at seven by a family member. Growing up, I felt like I was put here as a piece of meat. I would try and eat to make myself fat, so they would have anything to do with me. That apparently didn't work.
This went on till age 13, when my life was calm.
After this, the scars on the inside never left me. I got married right out of high school. I had two daughters. Who showed me what unconditional love really is. My husband left me after five and a half years.
Then, I met Mike; he was a good man. We got together and dated for a year; then we got married. I started having a lot of pelvic pain. I went to the doctors, and they couldn't figure out what was going on.
The doctor did a hysterectomy on me, and I got addicted to the pain medicine. The doctor had butchered me with the surgery, and then I found out it was a bladder condition and that I hadn't even needed it.
After that, I had two more surgeries to fix what he had messed up. From then on, I had an addiction to pain meds. This problem went on for a long time. I would get off the meds and get right back on it.
The doctors basically just passed me around. Eventually, they took me off the meds. I STARTED GETTING IT when I learned that this doctor's opinion was about the same.
I let a drug dealer borrow my car, and they got arrested. Mike got me out of all that, and I stopped doing drugs. I was clean for about two years.
We were helping to raise my stepdaughter's baby, but she was taken from us. I was accused on social media of being a heroin addict. I was so depressed that I went to my old friend and started doing drugs again.
On top of that, the family member who molested me as a child moved right next door. They pointed cameras toward our house. We feuded with these people for a while. The family was supposed to give me the deed to my place, but they never did; instead, they tried to kick us out.
At first, we tried to fight it, but it didn't work. My drug use had gotten bad, and Mike decided he wanted a divorce but then changed his mind. The first of the summer, I almost had an overdose.
During all this, I went to the hospital but was not in my right mind. I hit a security guard, and they swore out a warrant for my arrest. I turned myself In the next day, but Mike immediately got me out.
We separated and were living apart, and Mike had gotten depressed. We were together on July 29, 2021, and He died in my arms that night. I was devastated; it was the worst night of my life.
After this, I wanted to die and started speedballing... I never went back home. I had PTSD and went to treatment and got clean. I never touched drugs again but had simply traded one for another. I moved around a lot, had no hope, and blamed myself for everything.
I thought my family didn't want me around, and I was ashamed to go home because I couldn't face my family. I was staying with a friend in Birmingham and was at the end of my rope.
I hated God, but in the midst of all this, He never left me. Jesus told me to hang on, and that I would do something big to help others get to Jesus.
After that, Mikes's friend contacted me. He helped me get back into church and reconnect with my family, and here I am now. It's been a long, hard battle, but in the worst storm of my life, Jesus never left me.
Someone out there needs to know the love of Jesus. He died on the cross for you and me. I am trying to live for him. I am still a hot mess in some ways, but I have something now that I never stop to realize, and that is how much he loves me.
He has pulled me out of some of the darkest seasons of my life. I have been in jail and one foot in hell. I have been homeless. He was right there. I have had people steal from me and leave me on the side of the road.
During this time, he introduced me to five widows and used them to help me. He showed me that I would survive. I got my mom and dad back, plus my daughters and two grandsons.
I returned to college and just received my certification in graphic design. I have been big into art for a year and am doing what I can to glorify God. I wouldn't be here without Him.
He will meet you exactly where you are. You don't have to be perfect for Him. He already loves you.
"But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us" (Rom 5:8, NIV).
That verse reminds me of the transformative power of God's love. It is incredible how His love can transform our lives and bring us to a place of redemption and peace.
The metaphorical waters of God's love run deep, purifying the darkest corners of our souls and washing away the stains of our past.
Mary S: United States